If the boot was on the other foot…
On meeting my care coordinator today I noted she was well kempt although I often wonder where she gets her clothes from hmm Primark maybe, I don’t think they get paid very well. She also showed appropriate eye contact, although I try best as I can not to look at her. Her speech was a little forced but I put that down to the copious amounts of coffee she always goes on about that she drinks.
We were going to do my care plan which was mainly completed by herself, she had included such things when I’m feeling distressed to have a bath which would be difficult as I only have a shower and to go out walking after work. However this time of year it is dark and I am a little concerned for my safety.
We also looked at a safety plan which had numbers for me to call, at the minute I don’t have a mobile I sold mine so I could buy some more wine from when I’m feeling so overwhelmed, I guess I will just have to go to A&E and take my chances there although I don’t feel very welcome. Some of the doctors and nurses look a little scared of me but I just put that down to their paranoia which I think they should get some therapy to help with.
We talked about my family and how they could help but I’ve not seen them for years so I just put their phone numbers down anyway to please her. I’m quite good at that it helps our relationship I have to say though I’m always aware of my boundaries with her I don’t want to be telling her too much, I keep the names of my rabbits from her I think that’s really important
She got a little frustrated with me as I couldn’t think of steps to take when I felt suicidal I don’t think she was being very cooperative . I was trying my hardest and I tried to validate her feelings of frustration which helped a little and we managed to complete my care and safety plan.
She says that this plan will really help me with my recovery I think she is suffering with delusions and I am quite concerned for her I think to myself she needs some medication but I’m not sure she will comply with that. Oh well.
My care coordinator told me she couldn’t see me for a few weeks as she was in training and on holiday I don’t think she is engaging very well with me and wonder if she needs a short stay in hospital so people can make sure she complies with her duties as my care coordinator .
I’m going to to make sure that I write the notes up on my computer programme (lack of insight) just in case something happens to her before the end of the day after visiting me. I also decide to do a risk assessment with her not there as that’s the sort of thing she might do and I am pretty worried.
Well that’s another visit over with I will look to see if their are any improvements for next time but I’m not very hopeful I think I might tell her to get some therapy… not sure she’s ready for it though she probably needs stabilising…… Oh well
All of this is completely fabricated my care coordinators have all been really helpful, kind and included me in decision making … However I have read some funny stories on Twitter. I just hope it makes you laugh… If the boot was on the other foot….