Reflecting Endings #BPDChat
How did I end up here ? I ask myself, four years down the line from a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. I feel like I followed my own footsteps to get where I am now it was an inevitable path I had to one day follow it was waiting to happen I just didn’t see it coming.
So far it’s been a story of ups and downs of overdoses self harm of struggling to come to terms with why me? To starting work again to meeting new friends and of working on my personal mission to help people with BPD and acceptance
This has ended with me being employed by Sheffield Health and Social Care running courses for staff, people with a diagnosis of BPD and parents and family .
This has meant so much to me seeing people understand more and for people with BPD meeting each other and learning ways to manage. For some it’s been life changing.
Another institution to come out of all of my struggle to find me and wanting to help others was #BPDChat .
I started # BPDChat with my friend @brokenmind_ it’s been part of my life now for two years every Sunday at 9pm thinking of a topic doing some research advertising it’s on and then running the chat .
I’ve had help along the way from some lovely people @amand_stand @CarlDunnJr @Girl_Interrupt_ @IamCarrieeeeee and others from time to time. I want to thank these people they made the chat what it is as much as I have done.
I think the benefits of the chat are numerous, people share ways to manage, share their mutual understanding of what it’s like to be emotionally sensitive , make friends , learn about the diagnosis and most importantly realising they are not alone ……
I am writing this blog after much thought and procrastination… I have to say running this chat has been difficult for me over the years I have run it one time the day after an overdose from my bed, from my holidays in America and just week in week out every Sunday. I find it stressful running the chat as it means so much to me I want it to be good.
But I’ve loved it too seeing how people have benefited it has been a dual edged sword for me.
So where I am coming to is I have decided I am going to stop running #BPDChat I need a rest I need my Sundays back I need time for me and my family.
I will run the occasional chat and if anyone wants to run it in the meantime let me know, or people can just meet and chat every Sunday. I will stop after Easter weekend as that’s its two year anniversary .
Endings are difficult for me but this is one of my own making and I think it’s right for me at this moment in my life. I’m sad I’m crying now writing but all good things come to an end.