I told a story the other day, i was asked to do an inspirational speech to some people who worked for a housing association it was an equality, diversity day. My story went like this.
Hi my names Sue, let me tell you a bit about myself, I’m not going to talk about housing… I live in a house but I don’t know about housing. I’m going to talk about me, that’s my favourite subject, I know about me.
So I was born in Leeds, I went to Uni in Manchester I dropped out and went to work in a nightclub in Leeds six nights a week, then I got asked to DJ at a club in Sheffield The Leadmill, I worked there for 20 years, I ended up part owning the club and managing it, I ran a 70 s night called Hotpants and I bought my house when it got sold. I sold my shares in The Leadmill. I then worked for a local college training Door supervisors and licensing training, I was a sucessful person, I had it all, a partner a house two kids. I had it all. Everything. A house in Florida.
Rewind… Rewind… Rewind… Rewind…
I was born in Leeds, I worked in a club, I took lots of drugs, I got drunk lots, I self harmed, I overdosed, I cut my wrists. I lived with a nurse who sewed me up, I was scared of psychiatrists, they locked you away, they gave you ECT, they made you a zombie, so I stayed away.
I went to work at a club The Leadmill in Sheffield, I weighed 7 stone I was so underweight, I couldn’t eat in restaurants for three years , I had panic attacks, I still self harmed, but nobody knew, it was always a gardening accident, or I fell or I, oh the stories I told.
I never slept only four or five hours a night I was so tired, I didn’t feel anything, but I wretched most mornings before I went to work.
I kept going I couldn’t give in, you don’t give in. You can’t fail. I won’t fail.
I got to 46, I got too tired, I had to stop. I got told I had Borderline Personality Disorder.
My life, you would never know, I couldn’t admit I was ill because of stigma. You would never know. I didn’t really know, I thought it was normal.
I manage my illness now, I have my ups and downs, but I’m the one in four you can’t see. I’m hidden. I’m a successful person despite all of this. That’s inspiring, well I inspire me.